Out Of Nothing

outxofxnothing @ 2006-12-11T02:29:00

2006-12-11T02:29:43Z

I can't sleep.
You would think I would use this energy to finish my essay...
Nope.
I have started on it though...
Sort of.
It has to be in tomorrow.
Will finish it tomorrow.
I need to get away from here now.
Feel at a bit of a loose end.
Don't think that is the right term.

Blah.

Mind fuck

2006-12-09T19:47:44Z

I am having serious doubts as to whether I should be here. I am finding the work too hard, parts of the course are unbelievably boring and nothing to do with what I want to learn. I know I have to do crap parts as well as good but I didn’t know so much sociology would be involved, I feel like I have just learned A Level sociology all over again. Some of it is interesting yes, but then it is taught in such an irritating way that either I loose interest or find it hard to keep notes. I liked the structure of an A Level class where not only would we be taking notes but we would also discuss the topics raised and answer questions- I find this a much easier way of learning as when I recall the topics I remember the discussions and find it easier to remember everything learnt.
I am just starting to get sick of not being able to do my work. I managed to complete two essays that had to be in on Thursday. I was going mad trying to do them and know they aren’t good enough but by the end of it, I just didn’t care. Now I am sat here, tearing my hair out, trying desperately to do this essay. It has to be in on Monday and due to being busy doing the other essays and being a dedicated cheerleader I have only just managed to sit down to it today. If I had to do it off my own knowledge and opinions I could get it done. But seeing as I have to use references from at least 5 books and out of those recommended to me only 2 were available and neither have anything in I could use, I am struggling just a bit.
It’s just making me so annoyed that I can.not.do.it.
I am seriously contemplating dropping this course. I don’t want to leave here and I don’t know what course I would rather do as this is the only one that will get me where I want to be, but I am hating it at the moment. I have missed all but 1 lecture and 1 seminar this week. Ok so some of that was due to pure laziness, but if I enjoyed the classes more I am sure I would go. But when I sit there in a lecture trying to take notes on something that isn’t going to my head when everything is put onto Blackboard any way, I just think, what is the point?

Meh bring on Christmas holidays. Three weeks away from here. Although I have just as much work to do over the holidays as well as fitting in actual paid work and seeing my friends, trying to have one of those ‘social life’ things. It’s gonna be so hard getting anything done at home as the PC is in the living room where the TV is constantly on full blast and everyone is talking loudly to compete with the TV, while they all gawp at you and the miracle that is Information Technology. I can tell how claustrophobic and stressed out Laura is feeling, I have no idea how I am going to cope with that, especially after these three months of freedom and my own space.

I definitely need the break from university though. There are some people that I know I need to get away from for my own sanity. Such as Oz, who, although being probably one of my closest friends here, is starting to make me crazy. He doesn’t know it of course as I am good at pretending to be sane in front of him- although he seems to be at the sharp end of all my bad mood swings lately. It doesn’t help that he finds the need to tell me every time he likes a girl, wants a girl, gets with a girl… I do not want to know these things, but seeing as we are now definitely in ‘friend zone’ it is my duty to. I like that he confines in me and wants to tell me things above everyone else, but it physically hurts to hear it. For example on Thursday we met up with one of our groupies for our class to talk about our presentation. No work got done but he did like to inform me that he quite liked her… ‘woo’… Then we came back to ours and he buggered off with her for Harry’s party while I went off to make my costume for the Cheer party on Friday. I spent most of the evening bitching to Alex about men and over thinking about what they could possibly be up to. Of course I didn’t have to imagine for long as he kindly popped by later that evening to tell me all in great detail… thank you very much. It hurt. A lot. I had to pretend like I was vaguely interested. I was already in an awful mood (cause partly by the unbelievable disgustingness of my flat mates and their cooking habits) and this only made it worse. He noticed what a bad mood I was in and tried to cheer me up, also asking me if it was him causing the mood, to which I obviously replied ‘no’. He was even cuddly with me, but I was too pissed off to return this affection. Alex agreed that it isn’t fair and it is confusing how he can act to me. It’s just fucking with my head. I am thinking maybe three weeks away from here and away from him may make the feelings go away… although of this I am doubtful.

A crap load of other stuff has happened this week, well the last couple of weeks but if I write anymore I think I may get an award for the longest LJ ever.
I am very much looking forward to when Monday is over and I have nothing more to hand in until January and the process of getting drunk lots can happen.

Now if only I could write an essay as long as this.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-12-02T01:58:00

2006-12-02T01:58:21Z

I really need to update and rant but I am too tired and my head is too 2u;oiwu.

All I have to say is men suck and I suck and all of this stuff sucks.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-12-01T02:24:00

2006-12-01T02:24:31Z

I really need to update but am..
a: too lazy
b: too busy
c: fed up of moaning
d: all of the above

Answers on a post card kids.

Ok a real update will happen eventually I am sure...

Innit like...

2006-11-22T00:53:23Z

I just feel like writing because I am in a rather happy mood and as we all know this happens rarely.
Tonight was the comedy night at the union which was rather fab. All acts were great but the best part of the evening was when Phil (a fellow cheerleader who I have thought was a bit yum since day #1) asked for my number. He may never get in touch with me, but I was rather chuffed any way. I would explain the whole thing but a) I am too drunk and b) I can’t be arsed. I am quite happy though.

Another long, over due update.

2006-11-20T20:06:35Z

So, what have I been up to? At the weekend I ventured into Cardiff with Lee and Kate to have a lovely Sunday roast and watch Borat (quite funny but so offensive), it was really nice.
I spent Monday trying to do work but getting very distracted and then kept Oz company while he tackled his essay. We are becoming closer friends by each day and I really like this, but I am still very confuddled over everything. We had a little thing again this week, but I was good and tried to overt it- it’s just so hard to say no when I want to kiss him so badly. It’s just funny how every time he has been drinking he finds his way to me, yet when sober talks about other girls to me a lot. It’s messing my head up a bit, it wouldn’t be so bad if I was happy with the ‘fling’ thing, but that isn’t the case with this one- why am I so fickle?
Any way on to Tuesday. I met Laura in Cardiff and brought her back here. It’s been really nice having her. On the first night we just stayed in, player Family Fortunes with the flat and ate take out. Wednesday was a lot of fun though. Laura and I went into Cardiff where she kindly bought me a couple of jumpers as she seems to have a better cash flow than myself right now. We then went out in the evening to the union for Score (best night of the week). I got horrifically drunk and can not actually remember most of the evening (oops, damn those Glamorgan Greens!). Apparently I nearly got into a fight with one girl and Kate and Oz had to divert it (I can not remember this and in fact thought it was Kate who nearly had a fight). However, drunken lunacy aside I had a really fab time and so did Laura.
Thursday was fetish night, so that gave us all a chance for us to dress up like loons/sluts. Kate, Laura and I all decided to go as police women so I took Laura into Ponty to get a few bits for evening. It was a fun night, not as busy as I would have liked but fun nevertheless (including the aforementioned Oz-ness).
Due to a serve lack of funds Friday was another quiet night in. Laura decided to stay on an extra day, which was nice apart from the fact that I had a lot of work to do and we started to get a bit sick of each other by then.
Cheerleading on Saturday was a bit crap, out stunt group always seems to be lacking someone which means practising is near impossible. I am also fronting now, which I hate and is tres boring, I want to be a flyer!! After all that jumping about of cheerleading Laura and me ate then I took her to Cardiff to catch her train. I actually felt really sad once she had gotten on to the train and was even a bit teary on my train back to Uni. (lame). I don’t know why exactly this is, I think it just made me feel a bit homesick or whatever. I was then all set for another boring Saturday night in, but ended up being entertained by a rather tipsy Kate and Lee who had been to the union to see Bodger and Badger *is jealous*.
Yesterday was quite a nice day too. I slept half the day away, making the most of having my bed back to myself. I also managed to do a bit of work (sort of). I had also agreed to help Oz tidy his room in exchange for a cooked meal (I am such a sucker). It was surprisingly fun though (and messy!) and I had a very nice fry up today which made it all worth while. (Grr I hate man issues).
Today has been a nice day also, apart from having barely any sleep and having to wake up for a pointless class this morning. I haven’t managed to do my essay draft that has to be in tomorrow, but I have made some notes, which I guess is a start. :S

Only a few weeks until I am home for Christmas now. I am actually quite looking forward to it. It is going to be weird being back though and trying to get my friendship bonds back I think will be difficult.

My aim for this week is to get more work done and go to all of my lectures.

I am now going to find something to eat that doesn’t take much effort and try and have some sort of an early night as I am so tired!

outxofxnothing @ 2006-11-12T21:53:00

2006-11-12T21:53:10Z

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=009&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&viewitem=&item=190051072453&rd=1&rd=1

Don't really want to sell this but budget and uni means I have no choice. :(

Always look on the bright side of life...

2006-11-10T23:50:33Z

I think it’s true about exercise producing happy hormones or whatever it is that exercise is supposed to do that cheers you up, because I feel rather happy and I can’t quite figure out why.
One rather fab thing that happened today is my review of the Jarvis Cocker album is in this months Leek. This is actually really exciting for me and I feel quite chuffed and I know mum and dad will be which is nice.
I also did a back flip today at gym, which apart from the coach being a bit scary and creepy and Russian was cool. I am very glad I joined cheerleading, all the girls a fab and it’s really fun and exercise, which means I can feel less guilty about drinking so much beer.
I also sorted out plans for next week. Laura will be coming on Tuesday and going home Friday morning. I am really looking forward to her coming. I didn’t realise how much I would miss her. I don’t miss her stealing my clothes or any of my stuff though. I just find myself bragging about her when I mention her- like some kind of proud parent lol.
I am still quite confuzzled about the Oz situation. He popped by earlier to talk about our presentation for class and I didn’t get all butterflies like I would with someone I had a crush on, but I did just want to keep talking to him. I don’t know what that means. I like him, that’s obvious as I have thought about him lots today, but I don’t know how much. I don’t know if its worth my energy to find out either if it’s not ever going to go anywhere… but god do I want to kiss him again.
I have plans for this weekend too which is good as it means I won’t be all bored and blah like last weekend.
My lecture today, usually the most boring lecture in the world ever, was actually ok. I understand what we were learning (mostly because I had done it all in A Level media) which meant I could answer a lot of the questions. This seemed to miff my lecturer as she likes to patronise and demean those who get things wrong.
To top off the good things I made a good profit on the Evanescence ticket so will have some cash to go out with next week.

So, all in all, things are a lot better this week than when I updated last weekend… thank god for that as I was starting to see a horrible black pit around me.

P.S I watched The Life of Brian last night for film society, hence the title- not as funny as dad kept making out, disappointed.

Hmm...

2006-11-09T15:43:37Z

Hmm… so still don’t quite know what to make of last night.
Oz and I had a ‘thing’… again. Although in my opinion the first time didn’t count as I was absolutely wasted and we didn’t really know each other. Since, I have been back and forth trying to figure out my feelings for him. I thought I came to the conclusion that I like him as a friend only- I enjoy his company a lot and we get on well. But then last night was fun, it was nice but I don’t know what it meant. I sound like such a girl, which I hate. Things didn’t feel weird today but he did say something along the lines of ‘the words never again come to mind’ last night…. Nice. It’s just funny that it’s the second time this has happened now and whenever we are out and have been drinking he gets rather friendly. I just put this down to the drink and knowing that he is friendly with girls… blah I don’t know. I am very confuzzled now.
Apart from all of that fandango last night was fun.

In other news, Laura should be coming down for a few days next week which will be nice; I am quite looking forward to that.

Ticket for sale

2006-11-06T12:56:44Z

I am posting this every where, but I need to shift it so the more people who see it the better.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Evanescence-1x-Manchester-Apollo-standing-ticket_W0QQitemZ190048597070QQihZ009QQcategoryZ16067QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Moany little bitch

2006-11-05T20:22:31Z

Gawd I feel awful. I hate this. I feeling so shitty. I am feeling really home sick even though I was only there last weekend. I just really want to be around people I know. I’ve had the most boring and crap weekend here. It feels like there is a real wedge between me and the rest of my flat mates right now. We were once a real united group but it’s become them (little Adam, Curly Adam and Matt) and us (Me and Kate). It’s been weeks since we all went out as one group. I hate it, it’s making me feel so, so alone. It’s ridiculous, how can I feel alone after living with 5 other people?
The only time I have been out this whole weekend was yesterday to go to Cheerleading. I didn’t even see a single one of my flat mates yesterday. And then today when I do see them, or in particular little Adam, he is incredibly rude to me. First he assumed I had been home all weekend (if only) and then I said I hadn’t and reminded him he saw me Friday, when he invited me along to the cinema then didn’t knock for me when they all left- lovely. Next he just basically took the piss. Just being quite spiteful and it didn’t even sound jokey. That little twat just fucks me off so much now. I really imagined we’d be good friends at first because he was funny and we got on… now he is always with the others and has become generally a little asshole. He thinks he can do it too because apparently I am ‘one of the guys’. It’s just starting to get to me.
I really want to be at home. If I didn’t have lectures that I really have to be at tomorrow I would go get a train now. I know that once Kate is back and Alex is back it will probably be fine because I will have company and will be busy. But this weekend has just been horrible. At least when I feel shit or bored at home there is always someone around, even if it’s just my parents, but here I have no one at all. I didn’t think I would miss home this much and I feel weak because I do, like I have failed to do the ‘uni thing’ because I have been home twice and wish I was there now. Fucking moron.
I feel really lost. I don’t even know how much I like my course now either, I mean some things are good about it and it is interesting but it’s not what I expected. I am hoping that next term it is better and once I have settled in and gotten used to it or whatever I will like it. But it’s been 6 weeks, surely I should know now?

Beccy rang me earlier, just hearing her voice made me feel a bit ‘euyli’, just hearing a familiar voice of someone who actually gives a shit (even though she doesn’t always show it).
I hate this. I don’t want to feel like this. I’ve tried to find things to do to keep me busy, but there are only so many DVDs you can watch in a day and only so much of an Eastenders omnibus you can stand. I even thought about going into Cardiff for a wander, but remembered the last Sunday me and Kate did that and couldn’t get a train for hours. I don’t deal with complete boredom very well.

I miss the summer, I miss July. Everything was great then. Since the end of August I have felt really… squiffy… jumbled and unsettled. I haven’t had ‘my’ place. I know I have that here, but it isn’t… it’s still only uni. I don’t want it to be like this. I want the great uni experience that everyone else has, and to some extent I have had that. I just seem to get like this- feeling totally shitty- quite often. Sometimes I can feel quite a home here, but more often than not I sit here and look around this room and think… this isn’t home, this isn’t where I belong. Yet I don’t quite know where that is. I have never felt like this before in my life. I wonder how people who voluntarily move house feel? Do they feel a bit lost?

I feel like such a winger now. Emily just came online and her screen name says it all- her boyfriend is fighting in Iraq and could die and I am sat here moaning like a little bitch… I don’t have the right.

Argh I fucking hate this.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-29T23:59:00

2006-10-30T00:06:40Z

I feel I should update, even though I can not be bothered.

So I left off on Monday, just before I went to Cardiff for the Automatic gig. It was awesome. Would have been better had I been in the crowd a bit more, but standing to the side and dancing with space was fun also. I met with Kate and Lee in Cardiff who were already with Kate’s sister and her boyfriend (who were both really lovely). We ate at Nando’s first which was yummy then went on to the gig.

The rest of the week was quite dull really. I am still fucking ill and getting to sleep at 4am to get up every hour to have a coughing fit then have to get up for a stupid lecture is not fair. This is the reason that I missed nearly all my lectures this week- very bad. I did however finally go to my Tuesday class’s which felt pointless. I then came back and went to bed because I felt so awful. I also ended up emailing my Jarvis review rather than go to my Leek meeting (even though in the end it was cancelled, glad I didn’t trek down the hill for nothing).

I did venture out Wednesday night and had fun. It didn’t end in the typical Wednesday night way, which is good because I am behaving now. Phil did keep saying I was beautiful in Spanish though, which freaked me out somewhat.

Come Thursday I had decided I was definitely going home this weekend and figured seeing as I will miss my Friday lectures I may as well take an early train home. I am glad I did because being here was starting to drive me up the wall. Adam was slowly pissing me off more and more and I think if I had stayed I may have planted his head through his door or something to similar violence.

Going home is nice; it’s like respite from Uni. But it’s still weird. I mean it’s not home as such and it’s still very much claustrophobic. If I sit and think about it long enough it can really do my head in, so I try not to think about it and just get on with it. Our house has been sold now, which is a weird feeling. The thought of someone else in my house, in my bedroom which I had not long decorated to my taste. I don’t know, I just think that somewhere in my head I still have the idea that I would live there again... Stupid I know. It’s just it’s my home and I don’t imagine anywhere else feeling like home again.

Ok, I am getting too morbid now, bad thing before I go to bed.

So, yes, the weekend was nice. Tash popped up and we chatted about random serious issues, which was a bit hardcore for me really. Beccy couldn’t be arsed once again. I had a nice time with Mum, Dad and Laura though. I am looking forward to when the Grandparents go away for Christmas and we get the place to ourselves.

It was actually good coming back to uni today. Pretty much as soon as I got in Alex knocked for me and Adam came to chat too. We’ve just had a nice funny night in and I didn’t feel like killing anyone, so my trip home must have done the trick.

I am going to be good and go to my lectures tomorrow and I am also going to go an LRC introduction with Alex seeing as I haven’t been yet.

I said I would update...

2006-10-23T13:48:34Z

Well that was wishful thinking, she is still very much here- whoop de fucking hoo. I am going to have to have strong words with Roxanne for getting my hopes up and making me think that Bolivia had fucked off back where she came from.
Apart from that dent in my mood this past weekend has been pretty good.

One of Lee’s friends from home came down so we showed him how ‘crazay’ we can be in Cardiff. Turns out we haven’t quite got the hang of ‘Crazay’ yet but he seemed to manage it well by himself snorting vodka and drinking many, many other alcoholic beverages, needless to say a fun night was had by all. We then thought we would have a quiet night at the union last night as we were all still recovering slightly from the night before- unfortunately we couldn’t get in so opted for a nice drink and a game of pool at the Otley. It was a good evening, until we came back and I found the guys had pretty much demolished my beer and trashed the kitchen… again. I am starting to get a bit sick of living with these guys. A few stern looks and strong words were thrown about and I am hoping they get a clue… doubtful though.

I just realised I hadn’t written in here properly since Monday. So the rest of the week…
It’s been mostly quiet. On Tuesday I had my second Leek (paper) meeting where I was the only person to be given a specific assignment on the back of a piece I had just given in. I have to review Jarvis Cockers new album so yay free CD (shame it’s a bit shit). I am just a bit chuffed at this.
Wednesday I gave in and went out with Alex for the traditional 'getting pissed and dancing like a loon at the union and pulling a random night'. Even though I was super poor I still managed to succeed in all of the above.
Then on Thursday, feeling rather hung-over I managed to go to all of my lectures and eventually felt better enough to go to the beach party. This could have been a terrible night. I went with Hamera from my course; she is a tad annoying but ho hum. The night got better with yet more loon dancing while dressed in beach wear.
Friday’s have turned into a quiet night in. Due to being super tired from the previous night and having to be up for cheerleading in the morning I decided it would be best to stay in and watch some TV (yay I have TV now!) and catch a few Z’s.
We got measured for our cheerleading outfits on Saturday (£56… harsh!) and they should look super cute, can’t wait. I am really enjoying it, I am still a bit crap at most of it but it’s fun anyway.

In other news Dad has a job, hoorah! This is actually super, super good news and could maybe mean things family-wise are getting better.
Also I am ill- again! This is not fair. I woke up this morning feeling like death and couldn’t get out of bed, even when Oz was banging on my door to get me up. I need to get healthy by tonight so I can dance around to The Automatic- somehow I can’t see me feeling much better by then.

This has felt like a random entry- I am actually trying to avoid doing that review as the album is rather poo and I just don’t want to listen to it again.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-22T03:17:00

2006-10-22T03:18:12Z

Haha she's gone home! Good, fucking bitch!

Full (non drunken) update to follow sometime in the future with good news, hurrah!

x x x

'You say you miss me, but that's not what I see'

2006-10-16T20:29:16Z

I know I am really abusing this LJ at the moment but it kind of feels like my only outlet.

Beccy moaned and moaned about me going to Uni., she acted so bitter and wouldn’t stop going on about how I am leaving her. Now I am trying to get in touch with her, you know to speak to her old pally when she needs someone and what do I get? Nothing. It’s funny how people forget when you are not there- out of sight out of mind.
I text Tash too who said ‘that’s weird, I was gonna text you today’ It’s 9:15... when were you going to text me? It’s nice to hear from her, but it’s like... I don’t get anything unless I put the effort in.
I just suddenly feel really alone. I know it’s because it’s gone quiet here, everyone is out so I am fed up. But it would be nice to think that no matter how alone I feel my friends at home give a shit. Obviously they do not though.

I just really miss home, but I don’t know why. I know I am not missing anything but I just want to be around people I know rather than still getting used to people I don’t know. I am beginning to get sick of some of my flat mates too, especially their very annoying kitchen habits such as getting take away every night and never washing up. I know it sounds moany but it is really starting to piss me off. I walk into the kitchen every morning and can smell it, it makes me feel sick.

Ok so this is a super negative entry- as they have all been recently- and I am just moaning on and on so I am going now.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-15T22:14:00

2006-10-15T21:15:58Z

He slept with Bolivia. Obviously I knew eventually he would get with someone else, I mean it’s not like I have been the most well behaved person just hoping he decides to like me again. But of all the people he could have slept with it had to be her. I am actually feeling quite gutted... stupid I know. It didn’t help the cause that they were discussing it in front of me. I hate men. I feel really shitty now. I wish I didn’t like him this much and I know I shouldn’t because it’s pointless and really he is a bit of a dick.... But I do.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-15T04:41:00

2006-10-15T03:43:48Z

I can't like him also!
That's just stupid isn't it?
Maybe I just really like him as a friend?
Would I have felt that worried and spent time mopping blood from his head if it was one of the other guys?

Hmm who knows.

I need to stop being a twat though.

G-G-G-Get, Get Over It

2006-10-13T15:50:26Z

Why do I always like people I shouldn’t? Or people that I just can’t be with? I frustrate myself. I could hear his voice while I was in the kitchen and that was enough to make me girlie. The fact that he was talking to some girl, having a conversation that sounded a lot like flirting, made me less girlie and more... blah. I know I need to get over this as I can’t be like this every time the possibility of him and another girl come into conversation- Lame. I am trying to ‘get over it’ but my technique is probably not the best, it actually just results in more guys being assholes to me.

On a different topic it is Kate’s birthday this weekend so we are all off to Cardiff for a big piss up/celebration. I want to get her a little gift but have no idea what...
I have my tester assignment from the newspaper now. I have to write a review (150-200 words) on an unsigned band from Myspace. I am going do to Pinstripe as I really like them and can probably write enough and make it sound ok. I need to get on with this actually. I did have a lot of enthusiasm but it’s slowly fading. I really want to do well so they will pick me though.

I finally went to a lecture today after missing 4 this week due to feeling too ill to be bothered. Although it was totally dull it was kind of worth getting out of bed for as I made friends. While out of bed I made the most of it and did the all the bits and pieces I have been needing to do for ages (sort out NUS, do washing etc.)

I received a text from the most random person last night- Joe. I was expecting a message from someone else but his name was there in my inbox. He basically asked how I was and if I was still in Bristol. I replied with questions of my own but no reply as of yet... typical Joe.

Photoness

2006-10-11T15:36:53Z

Gez, Shaun, Oz, Ben, Me, Jessie, Phil

I am sure you don't play it like that.

Harrased!

I love this pic.

I want this hat!

Alex and Me on 'Skool Disco' night.

Just a bit wasted!- Oz, Me and Matt

'Huh?'

Beer tower!

'Chug, chug, chug!' Lloyd.

'We have sexy time?' Urie/Mike at the Beach Party

I look evil in this pic! Kate and me.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-11T00:21:00

2006-10-10T23:28:31Z

Argh. I miss home again... but I mean 'home'... Kelly's fault.
I miss my friends too... and I mean actual friends. I wanna go out with them, get pissed then get pissed off and bitch. I miss it.

I do love it here though. Had a wicked evening play Monopoly.

I <3 Gez too much, its stupid.

I spoke to Laura earlier... it was nice. I miss her.

I am ill... it sucks.

I have to be up early... that sucks too.

I <3 beer.

Too lazy to title

2006-10-09T18:52:18Z

So, I went home for the night on Saturday. It was really nice. I had food made for me where I didn’t have to wash up after, had a lovely bath- that seems to have made my bad ankle a lot better- and slept in a nice comfy bed. It was quite nice to have a bit of a break from the Uni. thing, I knew I wouldn’t miss much (just another take away and another messy kitchen in the morning) so I didn’t mind being at home. I did think about everyone here a lot though, so I guess I miss them a bit (?!) but it was definitely nice to see the family again. It’s weird how things feel at home though, obviously it not being our house it still feels weird and whereas before going to university I had got used to it all, now I’ve been away it feels odd again when I am back.
I have now had two completely sober nights at Uni. - Is it bad that in over 2 weeks that’s all it is? Things have quietened down a lot now and as people have lectures in the morning the evenings are a lot less chaotic. I miss the chaos though. I knew I would feel like this, I always do after I have been super busy and it goes quiet.
Things with all my flat mates are getting better and better. I feel much more comfortable now and even the piss taking has wore off- I am hoping it’s all old news now but knowing some of them it will crop up again some time. I’ve been getting closer with Kate, which is good as I’ve missed having a female to chat with.
I finally have some photos to post when I can. I look awful in all of them- totally wasted.

I am so ill at the moment, along with the rest of the Uni. I think- damn freshers flu. I think a decent nights sleep will do the world of good though... shame I have a 9am start tomorrow- ergh.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-06T00:02:00

2006-10-06T00:05:34Z

I really miss home. I miss familiarity. It's shit though as even in Bristol I don't know what 'home' is... I do like it here, but it's not like it was. I just want to be back where I know where I am going and who lives where and what's going on. I am looking forward to having a night at 'home' on Saturday.

I miss July... everything was ok then, everyting make sence. Since the end of August my life has changed so much... too much, I think it's just catching up. I don't like this feeling. At all.

outxofxnothing @ 2006-10-01T04:23:00

2006-10-01T03:26:07Z

Fuck. I. Really. Like. Him.

I have soo messed it up though... argh, why am I such a twat?!

That is it, I vow to think long and hard before I do or say anything that may make me look like a twat.

Argh.

My eyes are too blury to see this screen properly

2006-09-29T16:31:36Z

I can't believe Freshers week is almost over already. I vow to be much better behaved next week as this week I really haven't and it's really not good. I think my body is going to give up on me soon, I have been treating it badly, I am sure all of this alcohol is going to screw my liver up... ho hum it's fun.

It's so very annoying having crushes ya know? Rar.

Also, some people are real twats i.e Kelly.... wanker.

I am so friggin tired. I also just realised I don't have any word processing programmes so am slightly fucked next week when it comes to do essays... ooops.

I am starting to miss home a bit now. It all still feels a bit like being on a holiday camp here at the moment, but I know that next week it won't so much and the novelty would have warn off some what.

I have taken some photos but not got them developed yet. I found this though which is nice. My neighbours...

I feel a bit sorry for Alex being the only girl. They are awsome people though.

This was actually a pointless update but I was bored so... ho hum.

Looong time no update.

2006-09-28T02:36:15Z

I haven't posted on here in a million years... ok a month but it feels like ages.

Soo much has happened, a lot that I just don't wanna put in here because, well it's pointless.

I could do the biggest update but to be honest I just can not be bothered.

All I have to say is uni is fucking awesome. Everyone is awesome. This place is awesome. All my thoughts are now in Welsh.

Awesome.

Over and out.